I want to talk about addiction. I am familiar with the concept of addictions but practically speaking, how does one overcome them?
On Oprah this morning (ahem...TV?) were women who had had gastric bypass surgery. Once they'd lost all that weight they went on to other destructive behaviors such as alcoholism and promiscuity, trading one addiction for another.
I know in my own life, I've done that quite often. I have many "habits" from which to choose: eating, reading, TV, smoking. And they are interchangeable. I'm always self medicating. But honestly I don't even know what deep issues I'm medicating myself from.
Now, I know I'm not alone in the whole addiction thing. I know from my reading and TV watching that everyone has an issue with one addiction or another. We all want to check out. But strip away our numbing habits and we're faced with, in some cases, unbearable fear and pain. How on earth are we expected to cope?
The popular Christian response would be to "offer it up to the Lord." Now, again, this I understand in theory. But what does "offering it up" really mean...what does it look like? I've witnessed people trading some naughty vice for an unbending, unforgiving morality. Did they really "offer it up to the Lord" or did they replace they're destructive behaviors for a more benign addiction to a theological idea?
I was going to say "an addiction to God" but stopped myself. I know God is key, but I struggle with the idea of "checking out with Jesus." I don't want to check out. I want His assistance in facing this fucked up world. But I want to continue to see the pain around me and not bury my head in the sand. For how can I make the world a better place if I turn my back on it. Yet, there's no way to face it, and really feel it, without the novocaine of dissociation. I know I must draw from a strength I don't posses.
But how does one do that?
I know prayer is essential and I suck at it. My prayer muscles have atrophied and working them out right now is painful. But like any exercise you have to start small. I'm not good at starting small. I want the results without the work. (hmm...a recurring theme...interesting)
I have no answers and I'm sooo tired of thinking about it. I quote Scarlett O'Hara when I say, "I'll think about that tomorrow. After all, tomorrow is another day...and Law & Order is on."
5 comments:
I struggle with this too. Why can't I become addicted to good behaviors instead of the stuff I fill my time with now? I don't understand that sometimes.
I was going to write something about how eloquently your writing was on this post, but given your "words of encouragement" realization in the next post, I don't want you to think that I'm just doing it because of that. So forget it.
ha ha, Grover. First of all, thank you for coming out to hear my band!
I think you have hit on an important point with this point, though, Lisa. People always assume religion is a crutch to cope with life. And sadly, the reason people think this is because too many people end up using it that way.
I sometimes wonder if God thinks "the church" (by which I mean the popular trends in churchgoing folks' behavior) has screwed his reputation beyond relief.
I really wasn't fishing for compliments. I just realized that I'm a pathetic compliment whore. So thank you for not encouraging me. :)
your statement of being a pathetic compliment whore almost made me wet myself with laughter. i would also like you to know that Law and Order is a good show, all three of them.Plus their stories are taken from the headlines so it is reality t.v......
"ripped from the headlines" I think is their motto. That's good cuz I don't watch the news or read the paper. I'm glad I'm keeping up with current events in some way.
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