I had two experiences this week and they were very similar.
One was with a friend. One was with God at church this morning.
Both incidents can best be described as a mind-fuck.
The difference is that my friend and I had a conversation about it and worked things out as best we could for right now. When I talk and cry to God about why He seems to enjoy torturing me...He is silent.
A friend once said that being in a relationship with God was like being in an abusive relationship. I've never felt that to be more true than I do right now. And yet I still hope.
Another friend says that even though she questions God's motives often, she knows that she would simply die without Him.
This is my problem: I am being tormented by a God who's very breath sustains my life.
"What you have said is hard...but to whom else could I go?"
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