Restaurant Etiquette Part I

I did not start this blog as a vehicle to complain about my experiences waiting tables. There are some awesome waiter blogs out there (waiter rant being my favorite) and I've never wanted to compete with them.

But I have just a few things for people to keep in mind....(and by "people" I mean everyone other than the 4 people who read my blog.)

• If you've waited an hour and a half for a table then it probably means the restaurant is busy...consequently, your server will be busy. And it is probable that he or she has other guests in his or her care. So this is a good time to remind yourself that you are not the center of the universe.
• If your drink is empty, shaking your ice around in the glass 6 inches off the table as your server walks by is never a good idea. Please refer to the Please and Thank You chapters of your kindergarten textbooks.
• If your server makes a mistake it's because he or she is human and not because they were really hoping to ruin your night. The more you bitch about it the more your server retracts their initially sincere apology.
• If you enjoy making servers stay late while you refuse to pay the check you are pathetic and should consider a less passive aggressive hobby.
• If your server comes to the table with their hands full but they forgot your cocktail sauce, chances are they didn't forget, they just left their extra set of arms at home that day. Keep your mouth shut and give them a chance to come back with it.

Thanks for letting me vent kids!

Still in the land of the living

...but barely.

I've been parked on the couch for 4 days...today makes 5. I was going to call in extra for the dinner shift but I didn't want to leave my couch. I'm bored out of my mind; I feel cloudy in the head from lack of fresh air; I feel lonely and destined to live out my days knowing that, if, in the middle of the night, I should require emergency medical attention, i will die.

I think the only reason I went to the doctor was because last time I had bronchitis I thought I was going to choke on my own phlegm in my sleep. But he gave me some very nice cough syrup and a doctor's note stating that I was, in fact, sick with something other than a hangover for those folks at work who don't trust Saturday morning sick calls.

All I want to do is sleep on my couch and watch TLC all day. And since I've done that very thing for the past four days (with a little review of Alias season 4 thrown in) I'm guessing I'm in a bit of a depression.

Ah well, not to worry...I have a double tomorrow. And I bet it'll be the greatest double of my life. It'll be good to get out and actually use my slightly atrophied body .

Oh why does the thought of going to work make me cringe? I think I'm going to work on my book a bit today. I need another life option. Maybe that's why I'm depressed.

Hmmm....

Heavy sigh....

It's the new year. I don't even know what to say. I've done some introspection but really I'm just fried. Here are some resolutions I've been toying with.

1) Learn the names of all the Latinos at work. It's really hard to learn someone's name when you can't have a conversation with them. I think I must remember names based on what I learn about them in conversation. I don't speak Spanish so I don't know all their names. That makes me feel bad. They work so hard to make my job easier and I haven't learned their names. Shame on me.

2) I have a whole pack of smokes left. I'm not even looking forward to smoking it. My lungs hurt. So I might quit smoking. But, there are some people who don't smoke who are getting all excited about the opportunity to tsk tsk me when I do (sadly none of them read this blog) I wish I could tell them to remember, it's not about what they want, or what I want, it's about what my body requires. It currently requires nicotine. It will take a tremendous amount of will power and God's grace to kick the habit. It will NOT require a whole lot of nagging. Thank you very much.

3) I will write everyday. I will do something that I hate doing. Practice. I hated practicing the flute in 4th grade. I hated practicing guitar in 7th. I hate practicing. I want the results without the work. This is my greatest weakness. It's time I start working on it. I don't want to be a server forever.

4) I think 3 resolutions is enough.