Meegs has a great post on her blog about what kind of difference being a Christian should make in someone's life.
She begins by asking if, for example, she was accepted into the graduate program of her choice because she is a Christian who prayed. Did she pray properly? Is God a God of slot machines wherein you insert your nickel prayer and pull hoping for the three cherries to line up?
I can't tell you the number of youth rallies and conferences and retreat talks I've heard where the speaker gave some stirring testimony (that made us all cry) where God pulled all these strings and BAM!! "I got exactly what I wanted" and "isn't God fabulous!?"
The problem with that is, it doesn't explain why there have been no such strings pulled in my life. I'm not complaining, but as a young impressionable new believer, after hearing such talks, I expected my life to be filled with unexplainable, supernatural experiences that would bring constant joy and peace.
Frankly, that's all a load of crap but I'm fucking pissed off that at age 36 I'm still feeling kinda wounded that God doesn't love me enough to fill my life with miracles. I wish I had let go of some of that hope a little sooner. I don't want to be bitter but I tend to believe the best about people. And God. When a human disappoints me I can bounce back pretty nicely. But when I've been led to believe, in an emotionally charged environment (ie. rallies, conferences and retreats) that God is a God of miracles, I don't bounce back so easily when I don't see the fireworks I was promised.
If only some conference speaker would have warned me that life really really sucks sometimes and seems void of all things joyful, peaceful, and miraculous. And that God is in that...and that's the miracle.
And I've learned that God doesn't need to answer to me. And it's weird but I'm comforted by that.
Lately I've been feeling like I'm hanging on to the reins of life while my horse gallops out of control. Is it possible that God's got reins that override mine?
Shit, I hope so.
2 comments:
This has been on my mind for days so I just have to say it... and it's really more directed toward Meegs' post, but she doesn't know me and you do... so...
To answer the question of whether or not someone should follow God if there were no heaven or hell: Yes, definitely, because he is worthy of our love. Recently our pastor mentioned in his bulletin article the stages of spiritual maturity; when we are young in the faith we look at God merely for what we want.. when we are mature in the faith we look at God because we love him for who he is. He gives us all our human relationships as practice.
(You can read the article here: http://www.smrcc.org/documents/printabledocs/bul022507.pdf.
It's a pdf file of the paper bulletin, so you have to scroll down to page 3 to read it.)
Of course, I'm not saying that I look at God this way all the time, because it's not easy to think that the God of everything really needs our love; he does, however, desire it. That is why he sent his son, etc. -- to save us for eternity but also to save us for a life here on earth.
Of course I have more to say but no time to say it. Thanks for making my mushy-mommy-mind think a little bit.
Tina,
I didn't want to leave that point dangling, so I went back and did a follow-up. Follow the linkity-link.
I definitely agree with you when you say, "That is why he sent his son, etc. -- to save us for eternity but also to save us for a life here on earth." but I think I take a different spin with that than you.
Anyway, feel free to leave me a comment about it. I only bite when cornered. ;)
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