And the award goes to...

Now that a week has gone by, and I still have my job, I can tell you the greatest screw-up at a table...ever.

A little back-story...

I work at a restaurant that is very casual and family friendly. It is also very expensive. This latter fact allows me to live alone and pay my bills very nicely. So when I have a table that seats 8 people, I prefer that it is seated with 8 hungry adults who want lobster tails. Naturally, this doesn't alway happen and I find myself taking it all in stride, knowing that the next table might be the good one.

But last Sunday night I watched in horror as six children, all under the age of 12 (the age limit for the kid's menu) walk in with their two moms. As they were getting their high chairs and boosters all situatied I walked into a side station (completely out of earshot from any paying customers) to vent. Standing there, was the kitcen manager and another server. I walked up to them and asked, in my most sarcastic tone, where I might find the nearest Chuck E. Cheese's. Said kitchen manager started giving me directions. I interrupted him with, "yeah yeah great...go tell table 34."

And he did.

A month ago I was truly dismayed by the favoritism shown to servers who screw up constantly. Now I can honestly say that I am grateful for it. Servers have been fired for less.

OMG HGtv!!

I'll write a serious blog when this show is over. I promise.

I will be a server forever

The cable guy was here to hook me up with tv and internet. He's been gone all of 30 minutes and I've been sucked in already. TLC and What Not to Wear. Damn that's good viewin'.

Am I really that old?!

I think I'm entering para-menopause. I heard this term the other day and it flashed through my brain today when I almost tore the eyeballs out of this guy at my table. And when I tell you what happened, you'll probably think I need serious meds.

I go to the table...I take a drink order. Strawberry lemonade, coke, garlic rolls. Yes. During the drink order taking portion of the dining out experience, this guy orders garlic rolls. And he did so in a tone that suggested I'd never heard of such things as "garlic rolls." I wanted to tell him that my bra stinks for 2 days in my hamper after a double...I know what fucking garlic rolls are.

But seriously. Why whould that put me in such a rage? And it's not even that this guy was rude. He was polite when he ordered the garlic rolls to drink. He was just being stupid, and in so doing, threw off my whole order-taking groove. That's it. He threw off my groove.

But I was so enraged that he may as well have called me a fat whore. Then the anger subsided after about 5 minutes and I was fine.

I need to make a doctor's appointment I think.